“Hey, do you guys have any socks?”
“Nah man, I’m sorry—we’re fresh out of socks.”
“Well, that’s OK. You have any sandwiches?”
“You know, we’re fresh out of those too!”
“Then can I use the bathroom?”
“Sorry, it’s being cleaned for the next ten minutes.”
“Man, what kind of mission is this place?”
“I don’t know dude. We’re completely useless.”
I’ve decided my favorite part of my job is making homeless people laugh.
The men’s restroom at the shelter is always open, but we keep the key to the ladies’ room behind the desk, for obvious reasons. Today this young woman came in and walked up to me.
“Hey, can I get the key to the bathroom please?”
“Sure. Here you go!”
“Yup. Have fun!”
I got a solid belly laugh out of that one. I think I’ll use it again when I get a chance.
“Man, you know why I been gone a week?”
“Why’s that, Antonio?”
“‘Cause last time I was here I got in a fight with a dude, man!”
“What’d you do that for?”
“He got up in my face!”
“Well, why’d you get mad? Why’d you let him get to you like that?”
“Well, you know, I’m Italian, and the way I was raised, you know, you gotta be respectful and all, and you don’t let nobody get to you, but when somebody disrespects you, you gotta show ’em they can’t do that!”
“How’d that work out for you?”
“Well . . . maybe try a different strategy next time, OK brother?”
The hardest ones to deal with are the angry ones. You can see the fear in their eyes as their voices get louder.