Panic Mode

Anybody ever have this happen to them?  You walk into a social situation that you already know is going to be semi-awkward, and suddenly you realize that you left your ability to socialize, banter, and generally have a good time somewhere back in the car.

My lovely girlfriend invited me to be her date to an old friend’s wedding.  I didn’t know her, or her husband, or basically anyone else there, for that matter.  Normally, I think, that would be OK.  I spent a lot of time in high school learning how to make myself approachable and agreeable, how to carry on a conversation, how make myself well-liked, and so on.  But for some reason (I haven’t exactly figured it out yet), today I just lost all ability to socialize.  I was a nervous wreck.  I felt like I used to at middle school socials: awkwardly sitting on the side somewhere, trying my best to look past people’s eyes and pretend that everything was fine.

I think I “had to go to the bathroom” like three times, for about ten minutes each, but it had nothing to do with my bowels and everything to do with my desperate, all-consuming need to be alone.

They make a pill for this, right?

I’ve never done well in these types of situations, but it’s been a while since I’ve had to be in one.  I got off lucky, too: the reception was mercifully short.  But it’s embarrassing to find myself incapacitated like that (I felt worse for my date, but she didn’t seem to mind too much).  New social situations exhaust me literally within a minute.

I got home, popped up Pandora, read some political blogs and felt worlds better in about a half hour; “Transatlanticism” restoreth my soul.

Oof.  What a rough day.

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One Response to Panic Mode

  1. youngromantic says:

    I’ve had so many of these moments too. It doesn’t help that you didn’t know anyone, but I find when you’re feeling less than social and you know a couple people, you tend to latch onto them like a social leech.

    I wouldn’t worry about it too much. You’re just an introvert. It’s always good to think of some casual conversation starters and just “shoot the breeze” with someone who looks kind of approachable, but sometimes it seems like no one wants to give you the time of day or it’s just too darned exhausting to make the effort to get to know someone. Weddings can be the worst for that sort of thing because most are just so friggin awkward. All these people who don’t know each other all dressed up to witness a formal ceremony. Ugh. Just breathe, thank God that you’re an introvert and that you were created special and unique, and hope there’s an open bar! 😛

    I guess I can’t disperse too much advice because I have SO MANY situations like this. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one though! 🙂

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