On Self-awareness

One thing that really bothers me about some people is un-self-awareness.  Well, after a conversation with my girlfriend today, I realized something: sometimes, I am not very self-aware.  So, consider this the beginning of my conscious efforts at becoming more realistic and knowledgable about myself.

1.  I am excited by new ideas and possibilities.  Being clever, creative and insightful gives me joy and life and energy.  On the flipside, however, I’m not great at implementation.  Programs, plans, and numbers oftentimes bore me to tears.

2.  I value information.  Knowledge is important to me, whether that’s about God or about people or about music or whatever.  The more I know about something/someone, the more comfortable and attached I feel.

3.  I know a lot about God, or at least I think I do.  But He and I really aren’t that close.  I’m working on this concept, that knowledge is not a substitute for intimacy.

4.  I love learning new things but am not super concerned about mastery.  Usually I just want to learn enough that others know that I could be good at something (and so I know it too, but honestly that’s probably a secondary concern), and then I’m ready to move on to the next thing.

5.  With me, things always have to go the long way ’round.  I can’t simply accept it when a preacher tells me in seventh grade that I need to learn to “discern God’s will”.  I have to understand every piece of theology behind that statement and have my life almost ruined before I actually give it a shot.

That’s all for now.

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